Blank Spaces

Every time I look at a blank page I want to start with, “the door opened…” What does this mean? It really is nothing. On the other hand, it is all about running away or looking for something new to change the pace of life and get me out of the rut of daily life. There is so much daily repetition that it is shortening my life. Leaving me a shadow of myself. A large, gigantic shadow, but a shadow none the less.

I turn to the screen to fill in all the blank spaces of life. What are we to do with all these blank spaces? Do we color them? Where do we find the markers that will change our trajectory? We must look past the end of our noses. We have to open closed doors and look into dark corners of our minds to see what is hidden.

When you find what is hidden, grab on to the tiniest of ideas or visions. Roll them around on the tips of your fingers. Put them in the palm of your hand and feel their weight. Don’t put them in your pocket because you will forget them, and they will become lint that you pull out of the dryer lint trap. Your car keys will crush them and you will be right back into your old routines.

Take this revelation and put it on your bedside table. That is not the greatest place for it to live, but at least it can breathe and stay alive. It will not suffocate like it would if it was in your pocket. Now, you can take the time to look at it from all sorts of angles. You can think about how you are going to fit it into your life. You can break the cycle of boredom and repetition. Break out of your comfort zone.

Put your new vision into action. Step outside of yourself and look in the mirror. If you look long enough you can see the future and the past. Time is of no meaning at that moment. You will become one with the universe. Okay so that is a bunch of hokum; who gives a shit. You have to give in to the unknown. You have to be willing to take a leap of faith, or you will wake up and it will be the same day different year.

What do you have to lose? Nothing. You can always walk back through that door and put your vision or idea back in your pocket. You can forget about the future and live in the world you have created before that idea pushed itself into your frontal lobe. There is no genie that has to be put back into the bottle. Everything is as it should be. Chamber that round and holster that revolver. The lights will come on and gas will be in your car. Order will be restored to your world and all will be right.

Is that what you really want?  No. You want to look into your pocket. You want to find that ray of sunshine and feel that warmth on your face. You will run as fast as you can from the rain and clouds as they bare down on your being. All right that was a little dramatic, but you will be curious as to what could be. You will think about how the change will affect your place in the world and your feeling of self.

Or not. I mean the ball is in your court. There is something to be said for being content with your daily routine. There are no surprises to make you feel out of place. Change is something that can upset the balance in your life. It is not always welcome.

If none of this is for you. You will always know when dinner will be served. You know what your bedtime is no matter the season. There is such safety in this knowledge. You can breathe easier knowing what to expect. That is not for me. I will be looking for a bit of magic. It will give me a new reason to live. It will let me explore all I don’t know. I don’t care if the heat will be on or if there will be gas in the tank. It is the little surprises that bring satisfaction to my world, but not yours, so be it.

 

Go in peace.